There it was. You stupid fucking idiot, I thought. There it is, right fucking there, you stupid shit. I cursed myself to hell as I stared at the unopened condom box on the floor. ‘Don’t worry, I’m on the pill,’ she said, reading my eyes and face. I turned back to her, staying silent. Maybe that wasn’t all I was worried about. I urged her to get off me and she did. I felt like shit. Like complete shit. I pulled my jeans up and fastened them. I straightened my hair with my fingers and downed another glass of wine. ‘Want any?’ I asked her. She looked hurt and that made me feel worse. I avoided her eyes after she nodded. I poured her a glass and handed it to her with my head down. ‘Need a drive anywhere?’ I asked.’ ‘No,’ she replied bitterly. I waited a minute and stared at her. She was beautiful. She didn’t deserve to get fucked by some stranger who would make her feel even worse about herself. She needed a friend. She didn’t someone who could see her for what she was, see her for. John told the farmer he was there so he wouldn’t wonder who’s car was on his lot. The farm was over 80 acres, it was a 10 minute walk down along a cow trail to a patch of about 100 or so pine trees next to a small brook that ran thru the backside of the property into the Quinebaug river.Elaine wore a white pullover top, a plaid skirt, that went just below the knees, and white sneakers. As they walked John kept catching glimpses out of the corner of his eyes at her round melons and the way her top curved around them. Neither Elaine nor John made any attempt at holding hands, they only walked and talked. The weather was 75 degrees with a chance of an afternoon sprinkle. Elaine had packed a large beach bag with sandwiches and a large towel. The air was crisp, clean, and held the smell of fresh cut cedar. As they got closer to the pines you could hear the faint sounds of water flowing over and around the rocks in the brook. It was a calming peaceful sound. They arrived at the pine.
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